I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
