I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize