How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
