you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
