she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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