Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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