They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
