New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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