If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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