The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
