Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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