Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
