He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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