i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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