She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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