Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
