11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
