she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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