My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
