you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
