he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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