margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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