You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
