I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
