Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
