you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
