your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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