why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
