Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
