We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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