God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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