I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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