Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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