so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
