Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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