Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
