We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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