she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
