so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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