i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
