Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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