so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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