Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
