THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
