I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
