9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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