The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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