Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
