Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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