Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
