So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize