i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize