Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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