I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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