So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
