Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
