who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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